Today as most of you know it is Cyber Monday. Most of us love the convenience of shopping at home without having to deal with all the inconvenience of “shopping” outside. There are plenty of reasons to shop online, most mine revolve around not wanting to take my kids with me, but for some its husbands, boyfriends, significant others…after reading the following I can totally understand why!
I received an email, from my dear friend Sam as her husband has just retired. She sent it to me in hopes that her husband won’t try any of these himself. It made me actually laugh out Loud (LOL) I had share it, in celebration of CYBER MONDAY!
Over the past six months, your husband has caused quite a commotion in our store. We cannot tolerate this behavior and have been forced to ban both of you from the store. Our complaints against your husband, Mr. Samuel, are listed below and are documented by our video surveillance cameras.
1) June 15: Took 24 boxes of condoms and randomly put them in other people’s carts when they weren’t looking.
2) July 2: Set all the alarm clocks in House wares to go off at 5-minute intervals. .
3) July 19: Walked up to an employee and told her in an official voice, ‘Code 3 in House wares. Get on it right away’. This caused the employee to leave her assigned station and receive a reprimand from her Supervisor that in turn resulted with a union grievance, causing management to lose time and costing the company money.
4) August 4: Went to the Service Desk and tried to put a bag of M&Ms on layaway.
5) August 14: Moved a ‘CAUTION – WET FLOOR’ sign to a carpeted area.
6) August 15: Set up a tent in the camping department and told the children shoppers he’d invite them in if they would bring pillows and blankets from the bedding department to which twenty children obliged.
7) August 23: When a clerk asked if they could help him he began crying and screamed, ‘Why can’t you people just leave me alone?’ EMTs were called.
8) September 4: Looked right into the security camera and used it as a mirror while he picked his nose.
9) September 10: While handling guns in the hunting department, he asked the clerk where the antidepressants were.
10) October 3: Darted around the store suspiciously while loudly humming the ‘Mission Impossible’ theme.
11) October 6: In the auto department, he practiced his ‘Madonna look’ by using different sizes of funnels.
12) October 18: Hid in a clothing rack and when people browsed through, yelled ‘PICK ME PICK ME!’
13) October 21: When an announcement came over the loud speaker, he assumed a fetal position and screamed ‘OH NO! IT’S THOSE VOICES AGAIN!’
And last, but not least:
14) October 23: Went into a fitting room, shut the door, waited awhile, then yelled very loudly, ‘Hey! There’s no toilet paper in here.’ One of the clerks passed out.
Thanks again Sam for the email!
Happy Cyber Monday! Don’t forget to use your coupon today, as its the last day to get 20% off your highest priced item. Also, we just added Gift Giving Suggestions! Suggestions from our designers along with Paulette Jarvey! WOW, how great is that? Be sure to check out!